Chapter 28 ~ Dissonance

South Beach ~ McDermott Residence

Hurrying up the stairs and into the kitchen, Landry set down her bags of groceries and leaned against the counter briefly. Although Slim and Cooper were gone, Hitman was still busy with recording sessions for some of the other bands that used the studio as well as calls that came in regularly about the tour, promotions, and personal appearances.


She was tired but that did not stop her from sticking to her daily routine. Aside from an occasional drink or two after work with friends, it was all she had since Ryan had been gone. Changing quickly, Landry went into the spare bedroom where Ryan worked out. He had set up a ballet barre for her there so she could dance whenever she felt like it.

Turning up the volume until the mirrors began to vibrate, Landry began slowly at first, but quickly picked up the pace as she felt herself getting lost in the music.

She pounded the heels of her tap shoes against the floorboards, driving out thought, leaving nothing but the music and the dance, body and beat, muscle and breath and rhythm.

Stumbling slightly, she grabbed the bar and tried to steady her breathing. Prickly waves of heat washed over her as she raised the back of her hand to her forehead and briefly closed her eyes.

It wouldn't require an examination or any kind of test for Landry to know she was pregnant. She stood looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her body was still firm, her stomach flat. There were no physical signs of the pregnancy yet other than the fatigue that showed on her face.

She turned, leaning against the mirror and let her body slowly slide to the floor. She focused on the night sky that twinkled just outside the large window across from her as she tried to compose herself and about it. Ryan would be home tonight and she was going to have to tell him.

Landry's mouth curved in a slight smile. At one time she would have been excited to bring him news like this. She had been sure of him then, sure that he loved her and that he wanted to build a life with her, married or not. Now…she had doubts, not of her own feelings, but of his.

Had it been a mistake, she wondered? A mistake to encourage Ryan to take that job with Cooper? He’d always been reserved, but the last few months…something was different. He was remote; preoccupied even when he was at home, even in bed it didn’t seem quite the same.

Pulling herself up off the floor, she looked at her reflection once more before heading to the bath. "Well girl, he's either going to be very happy or very upset. Either way he's going to be a father and he needs to know."




South Beach ~ Stanfield Residence

Pulling up to the curb, Ryan maneuvered the big SUV to a stop in front of the Stanfield house in South Beach, turned off the ignition and sat there for a minute looking at the place. It had been a long drive from the University. It had been an even longer one earlier in the day from Oceanside. He was bone tired but still on edge.

Ryan slammed the door and started up the broad staircase, automatically checking the place as he walked. Had that security camera been moved?

Beth was walking toward him through the foyer, silhouetted against the bloom of light. He’d check the camera later; it was mounted too high on the wall to be accidentally shoved aside – one more item to the list of things that made him uncomfortable.

“What happened? How did he take it?” Beth waited there in the foyer, her eyes meeting his, tension in her voice. Ryan hesitated. There wasn’t much he could hold back from her since it would come out one way or the other, but she looked tired, drained. She didn’t need to deal with that damned kid right now. “I had to force it,” he admitted. “He wouldn’t turn over the keys until I put in a call to Cooper.”

“I knew it,” she shook her head and passed through the heavy glass doors into the hall, leaning briefly on the handle. “Wyatt’s a lot like his father.” In more ways than one, he thought, remembering the evidence at the beach house.

The place felt cold; several lamps on the patio had gone out, leaving gaps in the light. Ryan caught a shadow leaping up the rock wall – animal of some kind though, too small to be a person. “Are you going to be all right here tonight? You don’t need anything, do you?”

Beth moved uneasily through the living room, picking up a pillow and tossing it down. “I’m fine,” she assured him, turning back to him with a tight, forced smile. “Go home, Ryan. It’s late.”

He didn't feel right leaving her alone like this. Truthfully, he didn't want to go and would have come up with almost any reason to stay. Beth’s anxiety worried him; whether it was the first night back here, or maybe she was finally beginning to face reality about Cooper, he wasn’t sure, but he did not like leaving her here alone. "I can stay tonight if you want, give you a chance to get acclimated."

Beth pushed the door open onto the patio, then turned and held his gaze; as much as she would have preferred to have him stay, she needed to let him go. "No, Ryan I'll be fine," she repeated, her smile finally warming her eyes. "I’d like that, but I’m going to decline. You really should get home. Landry’s probably waiting for you." Placing his hands on his hips, Ryan began to object and then, sighing, told her, "I'm going to check the place one more time, walk the perimeter."




After replacing the lamps and checking the house one last time, Ryan returned. "There's a chill in the air; let's get you back inside. Walk me to the door?"

Ryan stood at the entance with Beth. "All right, set the alarms after I leave and if you need anything, anything at all, you call me regardless of the hour. I'm not that far."

She looked up at him. Not that far? Lyrics drifted through her mind, something Coop had sung to her about distance, the long dark spaces between people. She didn't want to let Ryan go and it would take no more than one word to keep him here. He was right, it was dark and cold and empty and lonely, and if he stayed, he wouldn't be sleeping on a couch. Impossible..."I will call," she promised, "Ryan…I'll call you tomorrow."

McDermott Residence

Ryan set his suitcase down and looked around at the darkened house. A faint glow from the kitchen was the only light that illuminated the room. Weary from the travel he rubbed the back of his neck absently considering a hot shower and a stiff drink before collapsing in his bed.

"First things first," he mumbled to himself as he walked over to the bar and, skipping the rocks, filled a tumbler halfway with scotch. Resting against it, he drank allowing the smooth amber liquid to slowly penetrate and do its job.

Ryan studied the pool table; a thoughtful expression covered his face as a slow grin barely spread across it. He remembered the last time he stood there when Beth had been striking hard at the colored balls as they scattered across the table in an attempt to avoid further punishment. She had been agitated then; he now understood why.


The haze brought on by the liquor, conjured images Ryan had often imagined. He could not set them aside anymore than he could abandon his feelings. He couldn't even count the number of times he closed his eyes and envisioned her like this, waiting for him. He didn't want to let it go.

His face darkened as he downed the rest of the scotch. Ryan slowly turned and trudged up the stairs. He wondered briefly, why Landry wasn't there to greet him, a thought he quickly dismissed. She was probably out barhopping or dancing at some club with her friends. Ryan did not want to face her tonight anyway; it was better she wasn't here.


Pushing open the bedroom door Ryan stepped inside and stopped in his tracks. There she stood in a sexy corset that amplified the luscious curves of her body. Ryan's reaction was immediate as he let his eyes slowly caress every curve. Her ivory skin glowed in the soft light.

"I thought you might be hungry," she began in a soft, sultry voice.

Ryan strode toward her, "I'm famished," his deep voice resonated. "Well I've got all of your favorites ready, baby. Where would you like to begin?"

Landry kissed him seductively knowing that this might be the last time they were this close, this intimate, and this free with each other. Whatever came from her news, she wanted it to be the way it used to be between them. The rest would wait until the light of day. Whatever came tomorrow, she would have tonight.


Ryan awoke the next morning sufficiently rested and sexually sated. He and Landry never had a problem in that area and she had been remarkably energetic last night. He glanced over and seeing her side of the bed vacant, threw his muscular legs over the side and got up.

Stepping gingerly across the travertine tiles, he focused briefly on the ocean view from beyond the bathroom window. It was a glorious day

The steamy water beat down soothingly on his chest as Ryan whistled softly. He quickly showered and went downstairs.

Grabbing a cup of coffee Ryan joined Landry who had been sitting in the living room reading. "Good morning gorgeous; that isn't the Kama Sutra I hope," his warm deep voice resonated.

She looked up at him and smiled. Her heart had been his since the beginning; would it be broken after today? No matter, he needed to know. Landry fought the urge to back down. "Ryan, can you sit with me? I have something to say," she began.

He slipped onto the sofa next to her and smiled at her, carefully studying her face looking for something, anything that might be wrong. Unable to read her, Ryan sat back and waited.

This was so hard. Landry, needing some distance, stood and drew a breath. Do not think, do not hesitate, just say what you have to say and get it out there. "Ryan, I…there is no easy way to say this," she started. Turning toward him once more she continued, "Ryan, I'm pregnant."

Ryan was stunned. "Pregnant…" he rose trying to mask the myriad thoughts raging inside his head."Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure Ryan. Is that all you have to say about it?" she asked him.

Running his hands through his hair Ryan hesitated. A baby was not something he was prepared to deal with or expected. They had always been careful; Landry was using birth control. He had a great many things he wanted to say, none of them constructive. Thinking, counting back the weeks he asked, "How far along are you?" Landry exploded, "You do the math Ryan! Shit!"

She stormed into the kitchen and rested her forehead against the cool steel of the kitchen cabinet trying hard not to give in to the churning of her stomach. Ryan followed her in bellowing, "You don't think this was something you could have told me sooner? Why did you wait until now?"

Landry turned, infuriated, and responded in kind, "Oh, I'm sorry Ryan. I guess I didn't want to disrupt your jet setting schedule!" Reigning in his emotions, Ryan came back at her, "That's bullshit Landry; you know what my work entails. I haven't been here these last several weeks but you knew how it was with my work. You could have at least called with something like this. We could have at least figured out a way to deal with all of it before now."

"Deal with it…that's an interesting phrase Ryan. How would you propose we deal with it?" her words were biting. "It wasn't something I wanted to tell you over the phone." Landry felt numb as her worst fears sinking in. She probably should have told him sooner; would it have changed anything? Would Ryan have left Beth and come home to her? She didn't think so. No matter, she was going to have a baby, his baby, with him or without him.

Landry walked away from him as she spoke quietly, "I didn't expect you would be jumping for joy, maybe I hoped you would be somewhat happy, but this isn't something I wanted to tell you unless we were face to face," she explained. "Seeing your reaction, I'm glad I didn't tell you while you were squiring Beth all over Paris."

"How the hell did you think I was going to react? You waited all this time to tell me…and last night…you didn't think to tell me last night? What was all that? You knew I wouldn't be happy about this!" Ryan raged. "Having a baby…it changes everything Landry, it changes us!"

For the first time in a long while, Ryan felt his world spinning off course. He had wanted a family one day but on his terms. Landry had always been there for him, things were comfortable with her and he did care for her in his own way. He had never examined his feelings beyond that; there had been no need until now. He could not abandon her or his child no matter what else he did or didn't feel.

"I'm not asking you to marry me Ryan," Landry's voice shook. "But I wasn't the only one involved here, the only one in the bed. We made this baby together."

Ryan stared at her, his anger driving him to the brink of losing control, "But you were the one that was supposed to be on birth control! What, did you conveniently forget? We didn't make this baby Landry; this was a mistake."

"You asshole! Go to hell Ryan! You think I did this on purpose?" she shouted. Landry's eyes filled with tears, she let out a bitter laugh, as she rebuked, "I don't need you to stay with me out of some sense of duty. I know you better than you think. If you want to walk, then walk."

"What do you want me to say Landry? That I'm thrilled? I'm not. I feel blindsided by this! A baby was never part of the equation!"

Increasingly frustrated and losing control, he tried in vain to regain his composure, "I don't turn my back on my responsibilities. Damn it Landry, you should have told me. I need to figure this out."

Feeling more hopeful, at least he hadn’t stalked off in a rage, and she knew Ryan would stand by her and their child, Landry paused. It might be a mistake to push it, but she had to know. "Do you love me Ryan," she asked him pointedly.

Ryan hesitated. It was a simple question with a complicated answer. He knew what love felt like; he had been in love once long before he met Landry. He was in love now. To answer her honestly would break her heart.

Besides, Landry's heart was not the only one Ryan was thinking about. How would Beth…no he could not think about that now. Nevertheless, he could not turn away from Landry or his responsibility to his child.

Ryan stood there arms folded and eyes reflecting the turmoil he felt in his heart. He glanced away briefly and then looked into her eyes and answered, "You already know how I feel about you. I'll take care of you both."

"Ryan," she repeated softly, "that is not what I asked you. Do you love me?" Landry searched his face for the truth. It hit her with a force she did not expect. "Oh god you're in love with her…with Beth aren't you?"

She was going to push him beyond reason. Eyes narrowed, he glared at her. "Do not go there with me Landry, you know better than to insinuate that shit," Ryan growled. "None of this is about Beth or anyone else. This is about you and me."

The steady vibration of his cell pulled him back. As he glanced down at the caller ID his muscles relaxed a bit and the tension left his face.

Drawing a deep breath, he placed the phone near his ear and hesitated as he heard a small child giggling in the background.

"Beth, what's up…yeah, what time…no this isn't a bad time…all right, I'll be there." The smile on his face infuriated Landry even more. What did she need him for this time, to carry her groceries?

Hanging up he looked at Landry and told her, "We'll work things out when I get home. I need to go to work." "You've got to be kidding me!" she yelled. "We're having a baby Ryan! You are not walking out of here now to go be with Beth! Are you having an affair with her? Cooper will cut off your balls, you know that?"

The woman was getting on his last frayed nerve. Ryan spun around, furious and shouted back, "I said don't go there damn it! I'm not having an affair! This is my fucking job!"

"And this is your fucking baby Ryan which ought to be more important than Beth! What happens if she decides to fly off to Venice or Sydney while I'm having this baby! You're just going to pack a bag and take off?"

Biting back hard on his anger Ryan shoved his hands in his back pockets unwilling to argue further, as he growled, "We are not doing this now Landry. I said we'll work this out when I get home!"

Landry followed him out the double doors furious. "How dare you walk away like this? Ryan! This isn't finished!"

"Yes, it is," his deep voice rumbled as he steadily walked away.

"Ryan!" Landry screamed after him as he stormed toward the SUV.

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NEXT CHAPTER: Stage Chapter 29